Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lookin' Back... *whistles tune*

I shamefully confess that the lyrics to Garth Brooks' "The Dance" went through my head this afternoon and somehow the REPEAT button in my mind has been pushed ONE TOO MANY TIMES since this cheesy, sappy tune came to my mind.
How did this song pop into my head you ask?! Well... after checking my e-mail today... I saw that I had almost a thousand sent e-mails in my "sent mail" folder. So, I decided to look at how long ago I had sent my first e-mail in my "sent mail" folder. I don't remember exactly when that was right now... but I know that it was from 2005. I had e-mails on their from people I talked to in high school and have not talked to since! *Lookin' Back.... on the memory of... the dance we shared... " so you know the rest of the song, and if you don't... I understand why not. I used to be a rather big fan of Garth Brooks. I actually was just talking about my first Garth Brooks concert last night with some friends, (which may be the reason this song came to mind so quickly...).
Anyways... the moral of the story is that I began thinking about how 2 years ago did not seem like that long ago. I graduated high school 2 years ago... but my high school graduation seems like lightyears ago! Then.. I stumbled across an e-mail that I had sent to my cousin Easter of 2005. In this e-mail.. were pictures of my Pap and I coloring easter eggs. My feelings went from being kind of silly, (from the Garth Brooks flashback) to completely somber. I realized that it will be almost a year since my Pap went into the hospital, a day I will never forget. I began to reflect on all the things of 2 years ago.. that I no longer have. High school friends, my Pap, mediocre study habits (i've straightened those up since high school.. trust me!)...
I started thinking about how A LOT can change in a short period of time. This led me to thinking about going away to Wesleyan in the fall. I am going to be there for 3 years. I am so excited to see what changes in those three years.. and at the same time... am scared of what could change. I don't want to lose friends that I have here in Morgantown like I lost friends from high school when we started a new chapter, I don't want to lose anymore family... I guess that this is where my favorite scripture comes into play. And not just memorizing this but actually living by it and believing that it is true.
So I will end with one of my favorite bible verses that my mom used to print out and put on all of our vanity mirrors. "For I know the Plans I have for YOU, declares the Lord. Plans to PROSPER You and NOT to HARM You. Plans to give you HOPE For a FUTURE" Jeremiah 29:11. I can only HOPE that what God has for my FUTURE is what I seek, and not just seeking what I want for my Future!

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