Thursday, March 27, 2008

Rambling...

Well, i'm not sure if anyone actually reads this blog.... but if you do.. you may not ever come back here again after reading this post!

{prepare yourselves.... this blog is all over the place!}


As I am a girl.... about once a month I have the intense urge to watch a sappy, girly movie and eat a lot of chocolate. Well, last night was that night for me! I was a little emotional about some things, and that's what I wanted to do. So. I popped in The Notebook, got out the (more than halfway eaten) bag of Dark Chocolate Mini Cadbury Eggs, and got into my bed. It was so nice. ... The first line of the movie REALLY stood out to me last night....

"I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough.”

This really stood out because last night, I decided against going to Uganda this summer. I have thought about it for almost a month now I think. I just feel as though it's not my time yet. I realized, that God has put me in this mission field here at Wesleyan, and I can't even handle it... let alone going around the WORLD!! I was just praying so hard about it last night, and I got this complete and utter FEAR come over me. Just so many thoughts. God just sort of revealed that to me. Just not the time right now. Someday though. I am excited for that day. But I have things I need to do here this summer.

So not only has this been bothering me. But my "monthly" girly instincts have kicked in. I honestly have just been so emotional today. Mood swings GALORE! You would think I were going crazy if you were my boyfriend today (because I'm pretty sure he thinks that right now as he is driving home from the beach...) Anyways! I have just gone from being happy, to really mad, to upset and lonely all in like an hour. I just sometimes feel like my entire life I have had to fight to "fit in". It's almost as though I feel like I have to apologize to people for being a Christian. For standing up for something. I just hate feeling as though I am not a good enough Christian because sometimes I am persuaded or influenced instead of being the one doing the influencing and being the light.
I want to be the salt and light of the Earth that God talks about in Matthew Chapther 5.
"You are the Salt of the Earth. But if the Salt loses it's saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see YOUR good deeds and Praise YOUR father in Heaven." Everyone always has this perception that because I don't go out and get drunk, or go have sex with my boyfriend that I am not "cool" or I can't "have fun". Well, neither of those things sounds fun to me! I am tired of being the one being judged. I know that I am not a perfect example at all times. Being a christian is not about being PERFECT! It's about being happy in times of sadness and sorrow. It's about having something to live for in this world that people are CONSTANTLY searching for something to make them happy. It's about knowing that the ONE AND ONLY GOD sent his ONE AND ONLY SON, to DIE on a CROSS for ME!!! For the WORLD! For all of our sins! That is an amazing thing!!!!! I just do not understand how people cannot accept this. How that cannot bring them the greatest joy of their entire lives.

Granted, there are days that my life seems AWFUL! That I am constantly overwhelmed, constantly crying or upset that I have so much work to do. But deep inside me, even on those days, I have the greatest joy in the world! Because even in that moment, I know that it is okay! Because God is MY FATHER! He is my joy, and he is what I live for. Not my boyfriend, not my parents, not for nursing school, not for friends, not for alcohol or drugs, not for sex, not for anything the WORLD can offer me.... but the most POWERFUL, ALMIGHTY, AMAZING, HEAVENLY, God is my strength! He is my happiness! I love Him with All of my heart, soul and mind.

I just want to be accepted for that and I want people to understand!!! I want to tell the whole world! But, sometimes I let myself be influenced. Sometimes instead of showing this. I let the world get me down and I let people see my sorrows and my sadness instead of my joy. I just want people to look at me, to see that I am happy! I just want them to look at me and say "I want whatever it is she has... because she is one HAPPY girl!"

Nursing school is HARD! Probably the hardest thing I have ever done so far. There are so many days that I complain, whine, cry, be sad, get mad, argue, and just down right act bitter and hateful. I do not want people to think that this is what being a Christian is all about. I want people to realize that just because I am a Christian. I am not perfect. I still have to live in this world and suffer just as everyone else does. But I live for the joy that I know I will have eternal life with my Heavenly Father someday and that in this world right now, today, HE is what I have to bring me joy.


Okay... enough rambling!

If you made it this far I am so impressed with you right now!!!!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter!!!

WHOA! It's been awhile since I last posted!!!
I've been on Easter break and haven't really spent much time on the computer... I came home Wednesday night and Thursday I went to lunch with a couple friends from high school at BlackBear ( mmm!!!) and then went to my training/orientation at my new job at HealthSouth Rehab Hospital. Thursday night I hung out with Matt and some of his (and mine...) guy friends. I love hanging out with males.... I am around silly girls 24/7 at school so I love to come home and play video games and watch basketball/football with the boys. It's a blast! :-)

On Friday morning, my parents, mamaw (mom's mom) and myself all packed up the car and headed to Ohio to visit my aunt, uncle, cousins and niece! It was so fun!!! It was nice to get away for a couple days. Even though I had to do some homework (and of course didn't do enough...) it was nice to visit with family I hadn't seen in awhile! We just hung out around their house and watched movies, laughed, and just caught up with life. It was a wonderful Easter.

Here are some pictures...
my cousin Lydia and I dying eggs! :-)




Ever since we were babies and couldn't even walk.... my cousins and I have hunted Easter eggs. My Pap was always the one who was so into it. He LOVED it. He and my mamaw would save all their change throughout the year and put it in the eggs. We each always got at least $14.00 out of the deal. This trip I realized I am getting OLD!!! Last year was my last year to be allowed participation in the annual Easter Egg Hunt... so this year I got to hide them for my niece!
There I am in the background... and this is my niece. She's 12... this also made me realize how old I am getting...
My cousins Chase, Lydia, Me and my niece, Kwanita all posing after Easter Church Service. The annual picture (missing quite a few this year...)Lydia and I after we found our Easter Baskets :-)

I just love her.. :-) (my hair is looking rather "poofy" here... don't ya think?!)

So my brother and sister-in-law bought Kadence real live chicks for Easter this year. She apparently LOVES them... their names are "James" and "Peepers"... so cute... here is a picture of her with one of her new baby chicks.

On that adorable note.....


Hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Easter and got to reflect on the true meaning of the holiday... Jesus' Resurrection and our salvation! :-)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I Love....

"*I challenge you to make your own list. The only catch? You can't include a single person you know on your list. No "I love the way my husband laughs" or "I love hearing my little girl call for me." It'll be tough, I know. (Think about it, I couldn't include MOLLY on my list.) But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love." This is a quote from a new blog I have been checking out from Ashley's list.

So here is my list....


I Love my relationship with My Holy Father...
I love that He sent His ONLY son to come and die for me and my stupid selfish sinfulness.

I Love... family togetherness. ( this is not a person....)

I Love music. It has always been one of my biggest passions.

I Love being barefoot and being outside.

Blackwater Falls, Spring 2007

I Love sleeping in and taking naps...

I Love to travel (wish I could do it more often...)
Disney World Thanksgiving 2006
Baltimore Inner Harbor with Tess Summer 2007

I Love Being Held and snuggling....




I Love Getting Attention...
My best friend Laura and I Halloween 2007

I Love to organize things and be organized.
I Love to clean.

I Love to sing in the shower and in my car when no one is around.

I Love to Drive
I Love.. being in Love!HAHAHA! Try again....


I Love that I still get butterflies when he looks at me... :-)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

My attempt at craftiness....

Yet again... I have been inspired!!!

I have been in the mood lately to be crafty after I've been looking at all these random blogs of people who are so creative like Emery, Ashley and Shannon... it is still weird for me to post about people who I have NO IDEA who they are! LOL! I told my mom something when I was home about one of my "blog friends" and she was like.. "Katy!!! You better not do that! You're probably talking to some old pervert guy!" I was like... "Mom, you are crazy! It's not like I talk to them or give them my social security number!!! We just share ideas and stories and stuff... calm down!" HAHA! Moms.... so overprotective... HEHE!

So.... back to the point!!!! I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED!!!!

Awhile ago Emery posted about an idea she had to get a cheap journal and to make it your own.

Well... I decided when I was home that I wanted to get rid of all of my old journals from middle and high school. Everytime I read them.. I just get depressed. Honestly... everyday was about some boy or something so stupid and petty... I decided I want to get rid of all that old stuff... and get a new journal and just start over with a new "mature" prayer journal. I havn't gotten rid of my old ones yet... I'm still trying to decide if I will regret it.. but I did get a new journal today!

I got it on sale at Target for $2.98 to be exact! It looks so plain and kind of like my books in high school when we had to cover them and my dad used grocery bags! (Anyone else remember those days or have to do that?!?!)

So I printed off some black and white photos from the internet... it may be breaking some sort of copyright law or something by putting the picture on here of the pictures... probably... somehow... but I'm gonna do it anyways!

So here is my ATTEMPT at being crafty...
Front View

I tried to print things that were symbolic to me in some way or in something that I am going through in my life right now...BACK VIEW

So that is my attempt at being crafty.... I am pretty happy with the results and that it what matters I guess right?! HAHA! I still need to cover it in clear packing tape but I have to get it from my roommate later.

To the crafty people out there.... let me know what you think and what I could have done differently to make it look better...

In the meantime... check out the new post below for my second post of Ashley's Embarrassing Childhood Photo Contest! HEHE! It makes for a great laugh!

Embarrassing Child Photo Contest #2 & the love story....

Well, I don't really have anymore childhood photos on my computer.... but to be honest... I still kind of feel young and like a kid. LOL!

So... here is the second most youngest picture I have on my computer... I decided I would get Matt involved as well! HAHAHA! He might hate me for this... but this is a pretty embarrassing photo.

.... are you ready for this?!??!!....

Prepare yourselves.....






WHOA!!!! look at those WHITE thighs my man is rockin'.... HAHAHAHA!!!

This is a good story actually.... this is pretty much the beginning of Matt and I's story together... LOL!

This picture was taken at InterVarsity Christian Fellowship's 80's Jam Session at West Virginia University.

This was my freshman year of college... like in October. I had just been in college for a few months. I met Matt my senior year of high school and we became kind of friends.. kind of acquaintances. We met at my church when InterVarsity was having an overnight retreat. I immediately fell head over heels for him... but he was a freshman in college and I was just a senior in high school. I was way out of my element at this retreat, but I went to meet people I would be going to college with the next year and people from my church. It was fun. Matt got out his guitar and we had a bonfire.. *swoon* All I did was stare at him and wish he would notice me! He was way out of my league.

So... we occasionally chatted on the internet.. but every time I saw Matt in person he would barely talk to me. Instead of using my head and just thinking that "maybe he's just shy" I thought "wow... he really doesn't like me..." HAHA! *side note* (why are girls so naive and self-doubters? or is that just me?!?!)

Matt and I continued to talk and be friends and both dated other people for about a year.

When I started college, my boyfriend at the time and I were having our falling outs and I was beginning to become a different person as I started the new chapter of my life. Matt and I began talking more and more in person as I started to attend InterVarsity again. I just kept running into Matt everywhere. I felt as though God was calling me to pursue something with Matt.

I ended things with my boyfriend at the time... and Matt and I hung out and got to know each other more as friends.

Now for the embarrassment.... one evening I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends. We had the urge to play Halo and I knew that Matt had the game at his house. I had heard him talking about it before. So, I messaged Matt on the internet and pretty much told him we were coming over to play. At this time I had already began realizing that Matt was kind of interested. So... my friend and I went over to his house. We played Halo and cards for a few hours. It was early morning when we left his house and when I went to get in my car.. Kristy would not leave until I went back into his house and told Matt that I liked him. The issue here is that Kristy was parked behind my car and she literally would not move her car until I did this crazy thing she was asking me to do.

SO... I called Matt's cell phone and told him I needed to talk to him and asked him if I could come back inside. Kristy watched me go back inside and told me to call her as soon as I left. This literally may have been the most awkward... most nerve wracking situation in my entire life. Here is the dialogue:

Matt: "So what's going on?!"
Me: "well.. I just um... well.. kind of um.... wanted to talk to you about something."
Matt: "okay... "
Me: (silence) "well... I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!"
Matt: "yeah... I kind of knew that"
Me:" oh was I that obvious?!"
Matt: "well... yes."
Me: "okay, well soo... what then?"
Matt: "well I don't really know how I feel?!"
Me: *crushed... doubtful... gut sinking... heart pounding...* "oh..."
Matt: "but I'd like to hang out more and get to know each other better"
Me: *huge smile* "YEAH! Sounds great... me too... I don't want to rush into anything"...

HAHA!!!!!!!!
After a couple months of hanging out.. we began to realize how much we liked each other.
I guess you could say that it was the booty shorts that did it to me... those hott outfits you saw above started it all.

Now... we've been dating for over 2 years and everything is so happy! :-) even though we don't see each other all that often now.... it makes it so happy and so much better when we do.

So that is just a little about my love story so far and some embarrassing moments as well to make up for my lack of embarrassing childhood photos. :-)This is the most recent picture of both of us.... LOL! Sorry that we both look kind of out of it. Matt's hair is buzzed now and my bangs are different... we need to take more pictures next time we're together. HAHA!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Embarrassing Child Photo Contest

So my blog friend Ashley, that I have talked about before... is starting an embarrassing childhood photo contest. Here is my entry.. not too embarrassing... but it's the only childhood photo I had on my computer. LOL! I mean.. it's a little embarrassing, I thought I was hot stuff! LOL! Look at me rockin' the little mermaid umbrella and the bob haircut... I think I just got my hair cut pretty much the same way. HAHA!!! Too funny...

Well, I just got back to school... so I'm gonna get back to unpacking and seeing friends.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I WANT TO MAKE THEM VISIBLE!!!!!

WHERE DID THIS WEEK GO!?!?!?!?!?!

So my spring break is winding down. I honestly have NO IDEA where all the time went! It has been a good week though.

Starting where the last post left off....

Tuesday night was amazing. My friend Tiffany was in town with Invisible Children. My heart was hurting so much after the video of Sunday.

His story broke my heart. I have such a passion for this after seeing this movie. I have become more aware of the fact that I take my life for granted so much. Everyday we go about our lives buying our expensive Starbuck's coffees, playing on our expensive laptops, eating junk food whenever we want wherever we want, spending ridiculous amounts of money on things we don't need. It breaks my heart. I almost want to just sell all of what I own... and live like this. But instead of being that drastic... I bought a bracelet like that talked about in the clip I posted.

My friend Tara (Tiffany's sister) asked me to go to Uganda with her this summer on a medical mission trip. I would LOVE to go. I have started praying about it... we'll see where God takes that decision.

In other news...

Wednesday I had my annual doctor's appointment in Pittsburgh. Nothing new... just back in 6 months. Always nice to hear good news from the doctor. My mom went with me to my appointment. We had some mother/daughter bonding time. We went to lunch and went shopping at the mall in Pittsburgh. I got some cute stuff from Delia's, my favorite store EVER! Once we got back Wednesday night I went to the second showing of Invisible Children with friends and then we all went out to Texas Roadhouse for half price appetizers. it was a lot of fun to catch up with Tiffany and hear about the lifestyle she has been living on tour with Invisible Children.

Thursday... I spent ALL DAY with Matt! :-) It was a blast. We went to lunch at Black Bear (i love that place so much!) then we went and did some shopping as well. We went to Target and Old Navy and a couple other random places :-) . HEHE! It was a lot of fun. We came back and hung out at my house. Then last night I went to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at WVU. I miss all of my friends there. The speaker was really good. We talked about the book Blue Like Jazz. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone! It is a fabulous book!

Today I woke up to my mom calling me. It was 11:00!!! I miss sleeping in! LOL! It was so nice! I wish I could do it more often. I woke up and went to lunch with her at the Mediterranean Deli. I also miss all the awesome variety of restaurants that are in Morgantown. We just don't have that in Buckhannon. LOL! Then I went and got my hair trimmed and NEW BANGS!!! :-) I was very tempted to take the risk and CUT THEM MYSELF like my blog friend Emery but unfortunately I know mine would not turn out as cute as hers! Pictures to come soon... my chord for my digital camera is at school.

I also did some more baking today. I tried a recipe for Peanut Butter Whole Wheat Muffins. They smelled and looked so good.... but looks can be deceiving. My mom and I took a bite into one and both made an awful face. They didn't taste like ANYTHING... maybe just a hunk of flour. We ended up throwing them down the garbage disposal... my heart broke again when we did.. because even though those muffins tasted AWFUL... there are starving children out there who have nothing.

Matt is coming up tonight after he gets off work at 8. I rented American Gangster and Paris Je'Taime (something like that....). I'll let you know how they are in the next post.

For now... I'm off to do a little more homework before Matt gets here and realizing more and more that it's back to the grind here in just a couple days....

Monday, March 3, 2008

COULD IT REALLY BE?!?!

Now it's sunny with the high... of 65... HAHA!! YAY!!! I wore a SKIRT today and ballet shoes and I was WARM!!! It was fabulous!! :-)

I had an interview today at HealthSouth Rehab Center for a Rehab Nurse Tech position. It went well and I'm hoping to get the job. Hopefully I will hear from them within the next couple days.

Also, tonight I went to ZUMBA here in Morgantown to the really big group they have at a church. It was INTENSE!!!! I've done Zumba quite a few times now and have never felt THAT burnt out afterwards. I loved it! I highly recommend everyone try Zumba. It's a GREAT workout!
AWESOME!

Spring break has been GREAT so far. I've just relaxed. I've been cooking a lot. I made tuna salad Saturday for lunch on toast for my parents and I. Then I made those rocky road brownies I talked about in the last post. They were SOOOOO good. I helped my mom make dinner Saturday. We made salmon cakes with pepper salsa, with roasted veggies and wild rice. It is so nice to be able to cook healthy while I'm at home. I can't wait until I can do it every night. Tonight after Zumba I made some FABULOUS smoothies for my parents and I. They were soooo good!

Saturday night I went to Fairmont to see Matt. We went with a couple friends to see Semi-Pro. It was pretty funny. I just stayed at his house and went to church with him and his family Sunday morning. After church we went to lunch with his sisters and parents. It was a lot of fun. We talked about what we would be doing in 4 years from now (on Leap Year...) LOL! It was interesting to think about. Hopefully, I will be working as a full time nurse. It would be great if I were in a children's hospital, or working in maternity. I still havn't decided which I want to do yet. I will probably end up doing both in my career. Anyways... LOL! Hopefully I will be married :-) and working full time while Matt goes to classes to get his masters (he'll be almost done by then hopefully....). Guess we'll just see where God takes us...

Back to the reality.. Last night I went to the movies with my very best friend Laura. We went to see Definitely, Maybe. It was pretty cute. We both liked it. I would recommend seeing it. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dessert with a bunch of silly boys. It was a good time. I miss all my friends when I'm at school. I love getting to catch up with everyone when I come home!

Right now I am just watching WVU beat Pitt!!! WAHOOOO! (there is still time left in the game though and we could potentially lose... but I"m happy we're winning right now!)

Tomorrow I am really excited because my friend Tiffany is going to be in town. She is on tour with InvisibleChildren right now. I'm really excited to see the video and hear about her adventures. We really need to help those in Darfur!
Updates on how the rest of spring break is going later this week....