Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Nursing School

WOW! It has been a long time since I have updated this! So... here goes nothing!

So I have officially completed my first semester of nursing school at West Virginia Wesleyan!

first day of clinicals at St. Joseph's Hospital... that's my friend Bria with me.

Not only have I completed the school aspect... but I have liv
ed away from home for the first time, lived with a roommate for the first time, and been away from Matt for long periods of time... It has been a crazy 4 months... I have learned a lot, I have grown a lot, and I have learned a lot about myself that needs to change. I have grown into more of an adult, and acted childish and immature.

The first few weeks of school were a little emotional. Here I was in this completely new place. I only knew a few people... I had no idea where anything in town was, where any of my classes were.... nothing. It was like being thrown into this whole new life and being completely lost. I was so used to relying on others that I did not know what to do. So, the first week went by and I made new friends... got acquainted with how the classes were going to be and frankly... went on an emotional roller coaster. At first I loved being away from home... and then I hated it... and then I realized it was okay again. I hated not being able to see Matt as often... and some days not getting to talk to him but only once. I loved making new friends... but I hated not having any alone time for myself. Living with someone is very difficult. I get along great with my roommate and I like her a lot! we have gotten closer throughout the semester and it has been fine! But ... I am a person who has to have my own space. I have to have my own time to myself. When I am upset I like to be alone... and that does not always get to happen.

I tried a couple different churches this semester. I began in a church that I was not entirely comfortable with..... at all. I went for 2 weeks and decided it most definitely was not for me. The next week I tried the local Christian Missionary and Alliance church.
It has been great. I have been going there ever since... (on the sundays that I am there and not at home or at Matt's church...) so in reality I have only been like 5 or 6 Sundays... but all of those have been great! I like the people a lot and the pastor is very good and very nice.

I am still making friends and trying to grow in my spiritual life and discover who I really am. Towards the mid to end of the semester I was really struggling with myself and knowing who I am... and not entirely enjoying who I was becoming. The stress of the nursing classes and classes in general was really getting to me. I was not making time to spend with God and I still struggle with making and finding that time.... and I was not having time for myself to exercise. For 2 weeks I was doing really well.. and then it all went downhill. I got so busy with school that I could not focus on myself and my health. I find that I do this to myself quite often. I hate that about myself... I hate that I get into a routine for about 2-3 weeks and then give up. It's like an endless cycle of caring and then not caring! I just want to always care and always make time for God, and exercise and alone time!

So here it is Christmas break... I am done with my first semester
... and I realize I am only half way done with college. I have 2 and a 1/2 years to go.... 5 more semesters. That really just blows my mind... part of me wants to be done soooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO badly... the greater part of me that is... and the other part of me wants to stay in college for awhile longer because I know that in reality I am so not ready for the "real world" lifestyle. I guess I should just live for this moment right now.... this moment that I am sitting here on my computer writing to a world who probably does not care.... or will never read this at all... or those of you who do care and are reading this because you are my friends and family and are saying to yourself " I already know all this...." thanks. LOL!

I love being home. I love this time of year... I find myself getting ve
ry nostalgic this time of year. I think back to my childhood when all I wanted was to be with my family and open presents... or my teen years and when all I cared about was if I was getting the new Hanson CD that I asked for.... or the new *Nsync poster to plaster on my wall. I think back to all the fun toys... but more importantly I think of how far I have come. I think about my family and all the changes we have seen. I love my family so much. Although it always seems like there is something going on.... it keeps us all on our toes and makes us realize that God is the most important thing. That God needs to be our focus... and that He is the ONLY thing that will keep us together, keep us sane, and HE is the reason for the season!

I hope I did not bore you all too much... just a little update about my life!!!!

Here are some pictures from the past 4 months of my life.....
This is my friend Bria. She is in my nursing class... we are attached at the hip with all the same classes and being good friends and all. :-) and this is how we felt about Health Assessment class within the first week....

This is Amber. She is Bria's roommate and my good friend as well! This was in Pittsburgh at Dave and Buster's for her 19th Birthday!
This is my bed.... Mr. Chicken is my friend :-) Matt got it for me 2 Christmas' ago! LOL

This is my desk... if only it were always this neat and tidy!! haha!
This is pretty much the rest of our room.... with the exclusion of Sara's desk to the right of that yellow shelf.... LOL

December 2, 2007
Matt and I celebrating our 2 Year Anniversary at The Melting Pot in Pittsburgh. It was AMAZING! Everyone should go there. The best food I have ever had!

These are just a few blips of the past 4 months.... soooo much more has happened... But I just wanted to update you all on what's been going on.. as if you already didn't know!!


Friday, August 10, 2007

WORKING STINKS! (literally!)

Oh my goodness!! I am SOOOO exhausted!! I can't believe I'm actually going to say this... are you ready for it?!...
I AM SO READY FOR SCHOOL TO START!!!! I do not want to work 41 hours AGAIN next week! It's my last week of SUMMER!!!! Okay okay, I know I won't be complaining whenever I
get my check, however, working 41 hours is NO FUN!!! Let alone being so excited to move, and having to pack all my stuff next week as well, oh yeah, when I'm not at work, or trying to spend time with visiting family, or trying to see all my friends before I leave for awhile. It's going to be a crazy week that's for SURE! But I'm pretty pumped about school, and starting new experiences and meeting new friends ( I feel like I've mentioned this in practically all my blog entries lately...)! I know I shouldn't complain about working because I did ask my boss to give me full time hours for the last 2 weeks (considering I was down to about 7 hours one week!!!) so as to have SOME spending money when I go away to school to be able to afford gas to get home every so often to see my family and my boyfriend!! I know... you get what you ask for... SOMETIMES!

Well, I'm off to shower from the nasty long day at work and packing today! WHEW!!!

Check out my pretty AWESOME bedding I got at KOHL's for my dorm room! I'm pretty pumped about it! It's called Amore... ooo lala! HEHE! love it!

Friday, August 3, 2007


So, I just got back from vacation!! YAY!!!!

I left Monday evening with my wonderful friend Tess B. and we headed to a city right outside of Baltimore, MD.. the city of Dundalk. Tess' aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins live there and we decided to go on a mini vacation and see her family and spend some time in the Inner Harbor Baltimore. I love it there! It is so
nice. So, we headed out on Monday evening. We arrived late that night and pretty much just crashed.
We woke up Tuesday morning and her Uncle, Cousin Becky, Tess, and I hoped in the car and made the 2 and a 1/2 hour trip to Ocean City, MD. We spent the entire day on the boardwalk and the beach. We had an old time picture taken and just spent some time in different shops and things.
We tried on these goofy hats and sunglasses in the kite shop. It was pretty funny. We swam in the ocean for a couple hours and laid on the beach for a little bit. Then we got some Thrasher friends and We played some skee ball in the arcade. I did WAY better than i thought I would considering it's been quite sometime since I have played. A funny story from skee ball... after I was done spending my $3.00 limit of quarters I set for myself I pulled off what I thought was my very long strand of tickets from the old rusted skee ball ticket machine right beside me to my right.... well...the boy beside me gave me a kind of funny look.. but I didnt think much of it, and waited for Tess to get done with her skee ball games. She grabbed her tickets FROM HER LEFT. and I suddenly realized why the boy beside me had given me such a weird, disturbed kind of look before. I TOOK HIS TICKETS!!!! HAHAHAA!!! oops! After hour skee ball session, and our Thrasher fries, we headed back to her aunt and uncle's house and crashed for the night.

Wednesday morning we woke up and headed to the Inner Harbor. We went straight to the Aquarium because we weren't sure how long we would need to go all the way through the aquarium and see all the exhibits. As we begin walking around the aquarium, we realized that for some CRAZY reason, every single parent on the face of the Earth, and every kid summer camp decided to bring the kids out for a nice day at the
aquarium. Now, I absolutely love children. I mean, I think it is what I want to do with my life, be a pediatric nurse! However, after walking around for approximately 15 minutes at the kid infested National Aquarium, I pretty much made the decision that I never wanted to have children. The reasonS being that, Kids these days seem to have NO care for rules, or other people, or what their parents say! I mean, I know that when I was a child I didn't always want to do what my parents told me to, and at times I am sure I threw a little hissy fit, but I always did it. Kids these days just completely ignore their parents, disobey, and through complete and utter tantrums when they don't get their way!!! I can't believe how parents just give in to whatever their child wants! And the kids would just push you out of the way and squeeze right through you to get to what they wanted to see, and then the parents were all running around trying to watch where their kid was. Tess and I went through that aquarium so fast, we saw a few things we wanted to see after pushing our way through the masses of children, and adults with HUGE metal backpacks on their backs with little children hanging on for dear life. I HATE those stupid backpacks and I HATE those leashes parents put on their children. However, I do confess that after seeing all the kids running around, I can understand how every parent in their would want to put their child on a leash! It was CRAZY!

Alright, enough of my ranting. I do want to have children someday... but not for a VERY VERY long time. I can only pray that my children have the fear of disappointing their parents, or the fear of getting in trouble like Tess and I were talking about ourselves having when we were youngins'.

So we made our way to the dolphin show at the aquarium. Seeing the dolphins took me back to my younger days of the couple years I wanted to be a MARINE BIOLOGIST! Then I thought back to the one biology class I had at WVU, and instantly decided that I had better stick with getting through Nurs
ing School. haha!

After the rendezvous with the flipping dolphins, we headed to LUNCH! We decid
ed that since neither of us had ever been to the Cheesecake factory that we should try it out. OOOOOO MMMMYYYY GOOOODDDNEESS have I been missing out! The food was AMAZING, the drink I had was AMAZING, and after eating our lunch we had no room for cheesecake at that moment.

so we decided to go back after a few hours of shopping and get our slice of cheesecake.
I got the original with strawberries on top. It was soooooooo good!

After our long day at the harbor, her uncle picked us up and we headed back to their house for a crab feast dinner! i was SOOOOO Excited to have Maryland crabs! i hadn't had crab for 2 years, the last time we went to the beach! I was so pumped! i ate 3 crabs! Immediately after, I became sooooo sick! I guess the combination fo not having seafood for a long time, and the amount of food I had eatin' that day hit me. I was so stuffed, and my stomache was NOT happy. I took some of that great tasting chalk called, Pepto Bismol, and went right to sleep. I woke up the next morning feeling much better, but it was not a fun night before I fell asleep! whew!

Tess and I woke up the next morning and headed back home. we stopped at Haggerstown Prime Outlets. With the little money I had left, I began entering the shops, and leaving empty handed. As Tess and I walked around the corner after going through about 10 shops. Before my eyes, I saw a heavenly sign. THe sign read "VANS outlet". OOO MY! I told Tess I was going there, and she said "alright, call me when you're done". About an hour or so later, maybe 45 minutes... a LONG time though... I called Tess and said "I just left the VANS store. Where are you?" She was like "WHAT!?" Let's just say that it is a VERY good thing that the VANS outlet is not close to Morgantown, WV, because I would be constantly BROKE. I bought a new pair of shoes, matt a new pair of shoes, a pair of jeans, a scarf, and a long sleeve shirt all for the price that I would have paid for one pair of shoes at the regular VANS store or at a store here in Morgantown. They were having a HUUUGE sale. It was amazing!

We finally made it home from our very busy trip. It was a blast!

So today, Matt and I headed up to Pittsburgh, PA to go to Kennywood amusement park. It was not busy at all, and we pretty much had everything rode in a few hours. So, we rode our favorite rides 2 or 3 times. it was a lot of fun!

Well, this is getting pretty long. My vacation week was GREAT! I had a good time! Now, back to work for 2 weeks, and then off to Wesleyan to be very busy studying all the time!


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Before I die....

So for some odd reason, today I started thinking about all the things I want to do before I die. I know that people say "you're too young to think about that..." but hey... let's face it.. in this crazy world we live in today, I could only have one minute left!
*Takes deep gasping breath!*

So here are some of the things I was thinking about today...

1.) Go skydiving (so cliche I know!)
2.) Get a Morkie Puppy
3.) Go to the West Coast or at least go further west than um... well.. Morgantown, WV
4.) Get Married
5.) Become a Nurse and help save lives
6.) Read through the Bible
7.) Move out of my parents house (happening in about 5 weeks.. into the dorms..)
8.) Go to Italy, Australia, and Paris
9.) Run in a marathon
10.) Get my masters degree

11.) Work at St. Judes Children's Hospital

So there you have it... those are just some of the things I was thinking about today as I was cleaning away for my mom because our cleaning lady isn't coming this week... so I get paid to do it! YAY!!!! Better get back to work!!! Mom will be home in a couple hours!

Cleaning toilets is NO FUN!!!!!!!!!!! (Don't I look attractive? HAHA!)

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

and they say life is hard! ?!?

I have always known that being a Christian is not the easiest thing in the world. I went through middle school as a new Christian and did not have very many Christian friends at all. I went to high school and made some great Christian friends. I went to youth groups and to different Christian conferences and concerts. I kind of went back and forth in my faith during high school, never leaving the path, but sometimes sticking my foot out and realizing that the land off the path was a lot like quick sand, and if I were to get off of the path that I would sink really fast! So I put my foot back on the path and kept walking. I think that's how it is with a lot of Christians. We kind of test the land on the other side of the path, but God always ends up being there one our shoulder to whisper in our ear "You're going to SINK! You're going to SINK!" and some people may listen and some may not. Anyways... then I started college, and the first 2 years have been AMAZING! I have made so many GREAT Christian friends! I am so privileged to have Christian friends to keep me accountable, let alone a Christian boyfriend to keep me on the right path as well. But here I am... starting a new part of my life. Going away to school... I can't wait to see what God has for me. But I am ALREADY realizing that it is going to be a CHALLENGE, even though it is a Christian school. I am going into a new mission field, and God is already challenging me to show my faith. I am preparing myself this summer and going deeper in my walk, to prepare myself for the mission field. I can't wait to see what God has for me on this mission field, and this new adventure!

I heard this song and can't help but keep replaying it. I love the lyrics!

Jesus your love. Has come one step closer. I will trust. You will never let me go! Jesus your love, has won me over. All my trust. Has found no other.
So I will declare the Beauty of the Lord. Nothing compares to the beauty of the Lord. and Jesus your Love, takes my breath away and now I'm living everyday for the Beauty of the Lord. Jesus your love. Has come one step closer. I will trust. You will never let me Go! Jesus your love, has won me over. All My trust. Has found no other.
So I will declare the Beauty of the Lord. Nothing compares to the beauty of the Lord. Jesus your love, it takes my breath away. And Now i'm living everyday for the Beauty of the Lord.
Jesus your love. It takes my breath away. Jesus your love, it Takes my Breath away. Jesus your love, it takes my breath away. Jesus your love, it takes my breath away!
Jesus your love takes my breath away! and I will declare the Beauty of the Lord. For nothing compares to the Beauty of the Lord. and Jesus your love, it takes my breath away and now i'm living everyday for the BEAUTY OF THE LORD!!

That pretty much defines where I want to go with my walk with God! The first line is perfect for the analogy I was making earlier with walking on a path with God. Jesus' love has come ONE STEP CLOSER! It's perfect!

Keep me in your prayers as I further my relationship with God and go into my new mission field!


Sunday, July 1, 2007

Summertime! :-)

SUMMER HAS OFFICIALLY BEGAN MY FRIENDS!!! and you know how I know this is true? Because today... all I did from 3:40 until 7:40 was read a book!! It was great! and at 7:40.. you know what I did? C'mon.. guess! I WATCHED A MOVIE! and then when that was over... I wasted my life away on the INTERNET! I know, I know... I can't even hardly believe it either... but yes.. i did IN FACT.. RELAX!!! It was a good day! And this whole week is going to be a lot of relaxing with a little goin' to work in between. I am going to read... and sleep in... and work some (only 12 hours this week) and not worry about anyone or what I need to do or who I need to take where or where Kwanita is going to stay or ANYTHING!

I am getting absolutely PUMPED about school! I realized the other day that move in day is 7 weeks from this past Saturday (June 30th) and I am getting so excited! And yet still a little nervous because I still havn't heard who my roommate is and inevitably have yet to talk to her. I can't even hardly wait to hear this news. I know that I need to be patient... but it's 7 weeks folks!!! There are sheets to buy and refrigerators and room decorations and towels and.. whew! I need to get on the ball! I just got my scrubs in the mail this week. Navy blue pants and white tops-Dickies Scrubs! I got a little giddy as I tried them on and looked at myself in the mirror imagining a stethoscope around my neck and walking through the hospital during clinicals in only a few months! It's so exciting, and yet as I was wasting time the other day at Barnes and Nobles while Kwanita stood in the kids section trying to find a book that didn't cost 1 million dollars (children's books are rediculously priced! GEESH!) I was searching through the Nursing and Medical books. I was just flipping through a sort of "Nursing Handbook" ( a small pocket size sort of "cheat book") and realized that I have SOOOOOO much to learn! I couldn't even hardly breathe for just a second with the thought of having to put an I.V. in someone's arm, or having to convert a drug dosage, or AAAHHH!!! I take a few long, deep breaths (okay so I'm exaggerating a little with this... but you get the idea.)

Well... it's late and I'm off to go to SLEEP and SLEEP IN for a good while into the late morning tomorrow! I can't even hardly wait!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

so afraid of getting older, I'm only good at being young!

Well, I have OFFICIALLY begun my new summer job working with CarePartners In Home Healthcare! I am so excited about it! Being with patients makes me so excited about my future career in nursing! I absolutely am just so happy to be around PEOPLE and to be able to help them and hang out with them, to keep them company and help them do things they can't do alone. I am so thankful that God has given me the passion to want to help people. I have recently also realized that I am growing up. It really did hit me this past weekend when I attended a wedding for some of my good friends. It seems like love is in the air, with weddings and engagements. I guess summer is the season from weddings and proposals though. I know that growing up is a part of life, and I guess it continues to hit you over the years that "yes... you ARE getting older!" and for some reason it always continues to be a shock.

My summer class is also winding down... in a sense... I have 6 classes left, and 5 tests. I am so ready for it to be over. I think the stress from this class has taken years off of my life. I realized that in 20 class periods of 2 hours each, (and approximately 20 hours a week of studying outside of class!)I have tried to cram into my mind information that is usually spread out into 4 months and separated into 2 classes. That is just unbelievable!! I am sure that I did not go as in depth as those people who have taken the classes over an entire semester, but I now have an appreciation for taking classes over a longer period of time.

So this blog has been kind of schizophrenic, but it's what I've been thinking about while layin' here on my bed relaxing after class, and thought that I would just share since I havn't updated in awhile!

Hope all is well with everyone!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lookin' Back... *whistles tune*

I shamefully confess that the lyrics to Garth Brooks' "The Dance" went through my head this afternoon and somehow the REPEAT button in my mind has been pushed ONE TOO MANY TIMES since this cheesy, sappy tune came to my mind.
How did this song pop into my head you ask?! Well... after checking my e-mail today... I saw that I had almost a thousand sent e-mails in my "sent mail" folder. So, I decided to look at how long ago I had sent my first e-mail in my "sent mail" folder. I don't remember exactly when that was right now... but I know that it was from 2005. I had e-mails on their from people I talked to in high school and have not talked to since! *Lookin' Back.... on the memory of... the dance we shared... " so you know the rest of the song, and if you don't... I understand why not. I used to be a rather big fan of Garth Brooks. I actually was just talking about my first Garth Brooks concert last night with some friends, (which may be the reason this song came to mind so quickly...).
Anyways... the moral of the story is that I began thinking about how 2 years ago did not seem like that long ago. I graduated high school 2 years ago... but my high school graduation seems like lightyears ago! Then.. I stumbled across an e-mail that I had sent to my cousin Easter of 2005. In this e-mail.. were pictures of my Pap and I coloring easter eggs. My feelings went from being kind of silly, (from the Garth Brooks flashback) to completely somber. I realized that it will be almost a year since my Pap went into the hospital, a day I will never forget. I began to reflect on all the things of 2 years ago.. that I no longer have. High school friends, my Pap, mediocre study habits (i've straightened those up since high school.. trust me!)...
I started thinking about how A LOT can change in a short period of time. This led me to thinking about going away to Wesleyan in the fall. I am going to be there for 3 years. I am so excited to see what changes in those three years.. and at the same time... am scared of what could change. I don't want to lose friends that I have here in Morgantown like I lost friends from high school when we started a new chapter, I don't want to lose anymore family... I guess that this is where my favorite scripture comes into play. And not just memorizing this but actually living by it and believing that it is true.
So I will end with one of my favorite bible verses that my mom used to print out and put on all of our vanity mirrors. "For I know the Plans I have for YOU, declares the Lord. Plans to PROSPER You and NOT to HARM You. Plans to give you HOPE For a FUTURE" Jeremiah 29:11. I can only HOPE that what God has for my FUTURE is what I seek, and not just seeking what I want for my Future!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

"That's so annoying!!!!!"

This is just a random post to get some thoughts out there..

So of recent, I've been noticing a lot of my "pet peeves"... I'd like to say that I'm a very patient person... but I won't lie... in some instances, my patience is lacking. These are a few of my pet peeves....
1. Chewing/Chomping

--For some reason, I CANNOT stand the sound of people chewing, or swallowing liquids. Now, I realize that with my career choice, I may come into contact with this every once in awhile. For that reason, I am trying to weene (is that how you spell it? apparently not.. thanks spell checker! --ween-) myself off of this bad pet peeve of mine. I try to be patient. I have realized that the "count to 10" issue is not actually affective. So, I am trying to conquer this pet peeve. ALSO, Chewing with your mouth open! UH! I realize that sometimes it is hard to do, (I confess... I do it myself...) but I just feel like if you're going to say something longer than a few words, CHEW YOUR FOOD! no one wants to see the ABC's "Already Been Chewed" food in your mouth! GROSS!!!

2. Driving on the Interstate in the Fast Lane at 65 MpH.
OKay... so on the interstate, in WV, the Speed Limit is 70. Am I not correct? OKay... well... could someone PLEASE explain to me WHY people want to travel in the left lane "the FAST lane" going BELOW the speed limit? I will never understand this concept. You cannot PASS someone that is going 70.. if you are going 65!!!

3. Blue Tooth Cell Technology
I hate when I see people walking down the street talking, and I ASSUME that they are talking to me, considering both arms are down and their line of vision is in my direction, and they are talking. Then, I see that little nub sticking out of their ear, after feeling like an idiot because I am trying to figure out if you are crazy or I am because you don't look familiar.

These are just a few pet peeves I've noticed lately... if anyone is with me, or has a different opinion.. let me know in my COMMENTS...

Lovin' and Leavin'--Life is FULL of Changes!

Like my title clearly states--life is full of changes! As I lie here on my bed, writing my first blog for many months now, I am sure you have ALL been checking this site every hour of the day waiting for me to update on life.... okay... so I'm dreaming. HAHA!

So, I finished my last semester at WV U and ended up with a 3.6.. the best I've done in college so far! I got 3 A's and 2 B's. So you can Imagine how I felt when my cumulative GPA went from 2.78 to a 2.98 in hopes that when I begin NURSING SCHOOL @ WEST VIRGINIA WESLEYAN COLLEGE IN THE FALL-- yes folks--I
got into Nursing school! I am so excited to go away and get the college experience. I will be living in the dorms and will be a sophomore in the nursing program there.

God has been in charge of this decision 100%. He has blessed me so much and I have learned that trusting in GOD'S TIMING is the most important thing. Let me tell you a little about my journey into getting accepted there...
First, I called the dean of the nursing school there and made an appointment to go speak with her. Mom and I went to meet with her and a financial aid adviser in March or April I believe. The dean was so kind and so understanding of what I have gone through in my adventures of my first 2 years of college and applying to nursing schools and being let down. From that point on I was accepted to the program. (I met all the requirements)... so I applied to the college and got accepted. Both my admission counselors got in touch with me... unlike most colleges where you have to call 3 different people before you get your admission or adviser HE CALLED ME and we talked for 45 minutes. It was so great to get to know him and I began feeling so comfortable in my decision to go to school there.
From this point on I began getting scholarships--I got a $9,000 one for my GPA then a $5,000 scholarship for character and GPA and all that. The money began coming in and I knew God was leading me to WVWC without a doubt in my mind

I am so excited to move on with my life, and yet at the same time... I am so afraid to leave (hence the beginning of the title "lovin' and leavin'") but I know this is what God wants. It is so comforting and exciting KNOWING that you are doing what GOD Wants in your life. For all those people who say you can't know for sure... as much as I doubted it in the past I now know that there outlook is totally misguided. Even though God did not come into my room one night and say "Katy-You will go to WV Wesleyan and you WILL be a Nurse!" I KNOW that this is what He wants because every door has been opened, answering my prayer that this would happen. I am nervous about how hard the program is going to be, I am nervous about having a roommate, I am nervous about leaving home, I am nervous about the Christian community there, I am nervous about love and where it's gonna go, I am nervous about a new place and new situations... but through all that my EXCITEMENT outweighs the nervousness!! :-)

Through all this I have learned patience and trust. Believe me, I am still pretty impatient and I am still learning to enjoy the day that God has blessed me with instead of living for the next chapter, I know that in GOD'S time He will get me to where He wants me to go, and that is an amazing feeling!

Thanks to all those who have been praying for me,.. please continue! God is truly amazing and I am so blessed!


Thursday, February 22, 2007

New Outlook- Thoughts at 2 a.m.

So it is right now 4 minutes until 2:00 a.m. and I am awake. I have no idea why... but here I am... wasting my life away on the internet, and I thought to myself... "now would be a great time to get my thoughts on a blog". A few people have asked me why I havn't been keeping this updated, and so I thought now the opportune time.

As I lie here wondering what in the world I should write about... I guess I am going to go ahead and just write about what I have been thinking lately, and about what I have been going through in my life spiritually, and emotionally.
Life is definitely a rollercoaster. I have most definitely realized this in my 20 years of life. That may not seem like many years to some of you, but to me, I feel like I have learned a lot. College has been a great eye opener in my life, and I feel like this past year alone I have grown so much and sort of realized a lot of traits, or characteristics, no... that's not what I'm looking for... maybe... well I suppose I have just realized who I am. Though, I am still learning and developing as an adult, I feel like even in the past few months, weeks, days even that I have learned a lot about myself. As we grow up in high school, we feel like we have reached our knowledge, we know who we are, and develop sort of that "high school attitude" of being all knowledgeable. Our parents, peers, grandparents, no one can tell us anything we do not already know. WHOA! Was I wrong! This rollercoaster I mentioned earlier? Well college has been the biggest rollercoaster of my life. When I started college, I was ready... I did not always know what I wanted to do with my life... in fact... i still could not tell you for SURE! However, in high school I decided that I had a deep desire and a passion to become a nurse. I wanted to be able to take care of sick people. I imagined myself bedside of my patients, taking care of their every need, making them comfortable in a rough time. So here I am with this dream... this dream that at times has seemed that it would absolutely never be possible. A dream that has been denied, turned down, shot to the ground, trampled on, thrown out, and a girl who has been told it is not possible. "You're just not good enough, you will have to work harder." ................................ ......................................
As I lay silently, and heavily asleep this past Saturday morning, my father knocks on the door and I hear "Well Katy, here is the moment of truth" in my groginess I roll over and pretend I did not hear him (i'm not much of a morning person)... "There is a letter from WVU School of Nursing here"... I tell him "oh boy...it's probably just saying they got my application". Well, I grab my glasses, and rip open the letter. I look to the first line of the later following the "Dear Katy," NO CONGRATULATIONS! ... CRAP! Side Note: in applying to the WVU School of Nursing, I was well aware that I was more than likely not going to be accepted... however I had a little bit of hope that they would take into consideration an interview. .. "We are sorry to inform you that your grade point average is not suitable for an interview... blah blah blah... we wish you the best in pursuing a career in Nursing". I look to my Dad and say.. "Yeah that was to be expected" and rolled back over in my bed but could not fall back asleep. I got out of bed and called my mother and let her know the news. The last words I spoke into that telephone were "I'll show them!"

and now to my main point....

I am still waiting to hear from Fairmont State... hence... my sleeplessness tonight. I got a letter saying that I should hear from them by the "latter part of February". ... There are 7 days left of February...

Since last year I have gone through so much in trying to figure out what I should do. Highs and lows, (the rollercoaster.......) from being told by the dean of nursing here at WVU that it was pointless for me to even apply with my GPA... to being told by my sick grandfather "Katy you will be a GREAT nurse someday". Thank You Pap!! I think I'll stick with the latter.

Finally, my mother has always told me in times of trials, and in times of rejoicing, "For I know the plans I have for you", Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE for a Future." Jeremiah 29:11. I have tried my hardest to live my life by this quote. I know that my life is in God's hands, and that at his right hand is Jesus, who died for my sins and all of the world. I know that if the master and the creator of the universe can create such a great masterpiece, that I can rejoice, in KNOWING and trusting... and being EXCITED that whatever God has in store for me... will be an amazing life just because it is what HE has for me. I am so glad that I can be at peace with that. I do not mean to contradict the entire last paragraph... and maybe somebody out there can give me some words of advice or words of wisdom.... I know not to pray for patience. But how do I get rid of this constant anxiousness and impatience in waiting for what God has for me... (The Letter from Fairmont State University about Nursing School... and then waiting until March sometime about Respiratory Therapy...)

This is an extremely long blog, and I am not even sure it makes any sense.... But I just wanted to update and get my thoughts out to everyone. Thank you for reading... if you made it all the way through I am impressed! I will be sure to update whenever I hear God's plan!!

I love you all and God Bless!!!

Katy :-)

it is now 2:21 a.m.... GOODNIGHT!